Finding Her Voice

"When I started learning the cello, I fell in love with the instrument because it seemed like a voice - my voice." 

-Mstislav Rostropovich

Sorry, it seems that I've been absent from the ol' blog world as of late. I really should still be absent as I have a bunch of weird packing to do. You know that kind of packing where you have stuff strewn about all over Grandpa's house, hidden in strange nooks and crannies, and you have zero desire to go hunting for it? That's why I'm here…avoiding the inevitable. It will eventually makes its way from Grandpa's house to our's, whether neatly packed in a box or sloppily chucked into the back of a van, it matters very little. 

So yet another month has come and gone virtually undocumented. This is my meager attempt to make a brief but thorough accounting of what February entailed for the Watson family. Judging by the plethora of photos I have waiting to download, this may not be as brief a post as I thought. I may need to break it up so as not to bore the poor soul reading this. 

Anyway, the month started with a bang. Jessica had scholarship auditions on Saturday and performed a solo with the Davis Youth Symphony on Tuesday. This mom was a nervous wreck. Jessica suffers very little with nerves. I'm guessing that she slept blissfully most nights that week, while I tossed and turned most nights worrying and praying for her. I just wanted her to be happy with her performance. 

For months I've agonized over finding a gown for this special evening. It needed to be long and flowy for optimum cello playing but elegant rather than a big boofy princess cupcake dress. This is a difficult thing to find in Utah. But the blog world is beautiful. As I read a post from one of my favorite local bloggers, I noticed her daughter's beautiful cotillion dress. It was just the sort of dress I was looking for! I messaged this favorite blogger of mine who referred me to a darling little French boutique in Bountiful. Of course it came from a French boutique! Jessica and I made a bee-line for the shop, and Jessica fell head over heels in love with this vintage gown.

It was perfect! But it was too long, a dilemma Jessica rarely finds herself in, and too big in the bodice. Thanks to a grandmother who was up until 11:00 the night before the concert taking in the bodice, and an aunt who took the day of the concert off to painstakingly cut and hem three layers of delicate fabric, Jessica walked out the door looking absolutely stunning. You know what they say, it takes a village to dress a child for her evening in the spotlight.

Jessica did an amazing job. The Haydn Concerto is no joke. You don't have to be a cellist to sense that this is a technically difficult piece. She played it beautifully! 

I faced the great dilemma every camera happy mother faces when her child gets a once in a lifetime opportunity like this. Do I just sit back and enjoy her performance, or do I snap pictures like the paparazzi that I am? I decided to sit back and enjoy. I took one or two shots during and after the performance, but mostly sat back and basked in the beauty that is Haydn and the beauty that is my grown daughter. 

I met Jess in the bathroom with her accompanist after the solo, and we squealed and giggled and hugged. She was relieved to be done and could now enjoy the rest of the concert. 

She told me she might weep during Jupiter, it's such a gorgeous piece of music. I could see what she meant. I was in heaven during the ebbs and flows of the piece.

We had to get a shot of Jess with her fan club.

I don't know if these lovely people truly understand the magnitude of a strong support system in the nurturing of a child. Parents can't do it alone. A two man fan club will suffice, but a 20 man fan club is always better.

She was showered with flowers, which made me happy. The whole house smelled like a flower shop.

Jessica wouldn't have been on that stage if not for the great Richard Marsden. There he sat backstage, recording the whole performance like he always does. He says he's retired, but we all know better. We are ever grateful for his faux retirement, because it means that he continues to inspire budding musicians like Jessica. His influence has been profound. 

This evening was a crowning event for Jessica, and I was proud to share it with her. I'm thrilled that the cello is the voice she chooses to sing with. It's a magnificent voice. 

Well what do you know, I set off to briefly recount the entire month, and I'm spent after documenting one event. Oh man, my wordiness has won out once again. Well stay tuned. I may apprise you of more tomorrow, unless I find myself highly motivated and end up doing something crazy like pack a box or something. 

Don't Drop the Ball, Don't Drop the Ball, Don't Drop the Ball!

"No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh," and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It's not a question of choice." 

-Marisa de los Santos

All of the kids need lunch money in their accounts. Jessica has an F in her meteorology class which is actually an oceanography class, which doesn't really matter, because she has an F in it. Senioritis? Quite possibly. Jonah didn't get his homework done last night because I was too busy enjoying Shaun White's new haircut and crying over him not getting the gold medal. Spencer has play practice basically every night between now and the middle of March. I'm supposed to sign up to bring treats to one of these practices but can't quite get myself to put my name on one of those calendar squares. Oh, and I'm supposed to go out and buy him a bow-tie for said play.

I need to get onto Amazon and order Saint-Saen's Concerto No. 1 for Jessica. I also need to get a check to her sweet accompanist. Jonah has exactly one month to get his Arrow of Light. Where is that scout book? Last night Jonah asked me if I had purchased Valentines for him to hand out to his class on Friday. My response…"What are we talking about?" Apparently he has to decorate his own shoebox for the Valentine exchange as well. Can I please be done with elementary school now? All of this talk of Valentines brings out the question, "Hey Mom, did you buy us a Valentine gift this year?" To which I respond, "Um, you bet. I'm sure there's some unopened Amazon boxes around here somewhere bearing some sort of holiday surprise. I just need to hunt them down and maybe examine the contents." Insert nervous giggle.

Sabrina just informed me that she is out of any and all deodorant, at home and in her gym locker. I guess she's been rubbing her pits with an empty deodorant container to the point that there is little remaining underarm skin to speak of. You'd think that I would have picked up the deodorant while I was rummaging through the pathetic remnants of what was once a Valentine section at the grocery store, but you would be wrong. You see, I prefer to make multiple trips to the store in a day. 

Jonah's maturation program is today. Oh bother. Can I please be done ruining my children's innocence with stories of hair growing in weird places and birds and bees and other such nonsense? The kid just wants to play Legos. Let him play Legos. Jonah has been laboring under the delusion that the maturation program is a field trip. His older siblings keep reminding him gravely that no, it is not a field trip. 

Good news. We should be ready to close on our house in less than two weeks. Wait. That will be in the middle of Spencer's week of school play performances. And Jessica will be playing in the pit every night for the high school musical that week as well. I think there's some big orientation at the university that week too. At this rate, we may be moved in by the end of June.

I need to get over to the boys prospective new schools and get them registered. I think we have dentist appointments next week. Jonah is supposed to be memorizing his new pieces for a piano festival in a month. Excuse me while I stare blankly into space for a minute. There. I'm back now…but not really.

I'm sitting here in Teresa's old pink bedroom. I'm surrounded by boxes and school papers and tax documents without homes. I think we're locked into an interest rate. I think we've ordered blinds. I think I know where all of the kids are supposed to be tonight. I think I need a warm tub followed by a cold Dr. Pepper. I think someone was crazy when she thought it would be a good idea to move this family in the middle of the school year.

Braving the Canyon for a Scholarship and Some Aggie Ice Cream

"Young people can learn from my example that something can come from nothing. What I have become is the result of my hard efforts." -Joseph Haydn

I suppose that we could call the last five days the pinnacle of Jessica's young musical life. When I started this little eight year old in piano lessons nearly ten years ago, my only aspirations were that she would one day be able to play the hymns. I guess I was never one of those "One day my child will be a proficient!" kind of parents. In fact, I wasn't even hopeful that my kids would gain a great love of music. I suppose I was shooting for mediocrity when it came to raising these kiddos. Which is why this whole week seemed a little surreal to me. I never imagined having a child with enough skill to even be considered for a music scholarship. Sometimes our children break free from the stifling paths of mediocrity that we set for them and fly off into the horizon with their own dreams and aspirations as their guide. If we're lucky enough, they'll drag us parents along for the ride.

Jessica drug us along for the ride up to Logan for her scholarship auditions on Saturday. Her appointment was scheduled for 10:40, and we were encouraged to get there 45 minutes early. I felt like we could leave at 9:00 and be just fine, but Neil insisted we leave at 8:30. That sounded like an awful lot of sitting around to me, but whatever. 

This is Jessica's accompanist. This is the extremely talented woman that the Lord somehow guided from Las Vegas to a home in our ward just a few months before we left it. Speaking of proficients…she plays the violin as well as she plays the piano. In fact, she majored in violin performance and was an invaluable help to Jessica as she counseled her on what the professors may be looking for in a potential music student. We are so grateful to her for setting aside a Saturday to trek up to Logan with us to accompany Jessica.

Stacie followed behind us in her van. As usual, Neil was the inspired one this particular Saturday morning. Somehow none of us got the memo that there would be snow on Saturday morning. In fact, we didn't get the memo until about Roy, at which point we began sliding all over the freeway. I had just called Leslie to get instructions on where the performance building was, because of course our internet was down at 8:00 Saturday morning, and all she got on her end was the screams of a stark-raving lunatic on the other end of the phone. She might have heard an occasional, "Save the cello!" amongst the screams, but I'm not sure. It was touch and go for awhile, but then things kind of cleared up, and we thought we would be ok…until they forced us off the freeway in Perry. What?!!!!

It was at this point that Stacie called us and asked in the kindest of terms, "Where the heck are we?" To which we replied, "I have no idea!" We were heading to Utah State via the old highway. Lovely. The roads on the old highway were covered in snow. We had to take it pretty slow. I was starting to watch the clock with a little trepidation, but we had left in plenty of time. We would still make it on time…then we entered the canyon. It was a white-out! You've got to be kidding me!!!!!

Thankfully Neil was the one driving. We inched along the freeway at about 20 miles per hour, white-knuckled, saying very little. Every once in awhile, Neil would call sweet Stacie, who has spent her whole life in Las Vegas and is experiencing for the first time what we lovingly refer to as "Those Wretched Utah Winters". He would remind her that she might want to shift down so as not to have to push on her brakes as much, since braking could send her sliding all over the freeway. I'm sure this left her feeling all safe and assured inside. We watched as the clock moved closer to Jessica's audition time at an alarming rate. One thing was for sure. We would not be arriving 45 minutes early.

We did make it out of the canyon and into Logan, which was experiencing not so much as a snowflake. Thanks to Leslie's instructions, we found the building no problem. Well ok, there was a tiny problem. We missed the turn originally. Upon stumbling across the Logan cemetery, we clued in that we may no longer be on the Utah State campus, turned around, then found the building no problem.

And what do you know, the three auditions before Jessica had not arrived yet, due to closed down freeways and horrific road conditions in the canyon. Go figure. Perhaps if they had left at an excessively early time like we had, they would have been on time.

Jessica did have enough time to warm-up. We watched from a tiny window in the door backstage as she walked onto that large and foreboding stage and played for an empty auditorium save the four intimidating individuals perched on the front row. She played her Haydn concerto, a Bach cello suite, and an etude. She played beautifully! And then it was over. Six years of painstaking practice, all for ten minutes on the stage, followed by a brief applause and an assurance that she'll get a letter in two weeks.

Poor Jessica had been battling a brutal cold for two days. She walked out of the audition ready to collapse, but not before a photo in front of this gorgeous wall and some infamous Aggie ice cream.

Who knows whether Jessica is scholarship material. I don't know how many prodigies she may be competing against. She's not a prodigy, just a girl fiercely loyal to her instrument and to her music, a girl who got where she is from hard effort. What I do know is that she has exceeded any hopes and dreams I had for her at this age. Whether Utah State is willing to throw her any money or not, Jessica will probably be wearing this t-shirt in just a few short months. Yep, I can see her frequenting this little ice cream shop after a long day in the practice rooms, cello in hand, concertos running through her head. This mama blinks slowly and sighs deeply at the thought.

By the way, we made it home safe and sound. We bypassed the canyon and took the long way home. Aside from an unexpected stop sign in Fielding that almost brought the front of Stacie's van into the back of ours, with the cello smashed in between, we drove home without incident. Jessica got home, did not pass go, did not collect two hundred dollars, just went right to bed. Haydn and a head-cold will do that to you.