Dear Teacher,

"It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas." -Charles Dickens

Am I the only one tempted to send a polite email to my children's teachers asking them and their blasted homework to take a flying leap during this festive season that is supposed to be all about worshipping the Savior and enjoying precious family time? I'm just not interested in my children's book reports and spelling words this time of year. 

If I actually were brave enough to send such an email, it would go something like this:

Dear Teacher,

I am sending you this email to inform you that I will not be requiring my child to do his/her homework during the month of December. It is not that I don't value what you are teaching my child, I just wish to spend the precious evening hours in which my child isn't in your classroom reveling in a most sacred holiday. I'm sure you will understand and in fact appreciate not having to grade said homework, because perhaps you have warm family traditions that you'd like to relish during the month of December. Rest assured, their core curriculum will not suffer. They will still be learning. 

But I'm afraid the only math my child will be doing this month will be the careful calculating of how much ginger is required in a double batch of gingerbread cookies. And the only reading he will be required to do is that from Dickens' Christmas Carol, as we gather around the Christmas tree each night as a family and read from this timeless classic. Don't bother giving him any science homework, because he'll be too busy determining the melting point of a marshmallow floating in a cup of hot cocoa. As for history, the only account he will be studying is that from the life of Christ as we, once again, will be gathering around the Christmas tree each evening to read a chapter from the book of Luke. Don't worry about his math facts. He's already carefully divided four into 24 to determine how many times he gets to enjoy the treats from our countdown calendar.

As for the more elective curriculums, we've got that covered. Foods class?... no worries, we'll be baking breads and cookies all month. Art class?....there is a beautiful exhibit going on at BYU right now, and since the kids won't be doing homework, there will be plenty of time to go see it. Gym class?...ah, the children will be running and jumping from lighted tree to glowing nativity as we catch all of the light exhibits in the area. Not to mention the gleeful ranting they'll be participating in with their cousins all month. Music?....don't even get me started, for some of the most beautiful music ever written will be echoing through our home as we bake cookies and read Dickens. There are all sorts of lovely concerts that we will be attending, because there won't be homework of course. 

Don't worry, they'll show up in January bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready for a healthy dose of algebraic equations and "creative" book reports. And I may even be happy to support them in their endeavors having spent a most delightful and completely uninterrupted holiday season with these children I love so dearly and miss so much during the school year.

Thank you for your full cooperation and understanding. And have a lovely holiday.

A Most Grateful Parent
Mrs. Watson

I think this email is so darn convincing, I may just go ahead and send it. I'm sure the teachers will be nothing but cooperative. Don't you think?