Confessions Of A Mediocre Mom

"It is not until you become a mother that your judgement slowly turns to compassion and understanding." -Erma Bombeck

• I breastfed and bottle fed all of my babies.
• My boys slept in their car seats until they were old enough to launch themselves out of them at nap time. (Why neither of them have flat heads is really a wonder.)
• I put sugar in my babies' rice cereal to make it palatable. 
• None of my kids were potty-trained before three years old.
• I never did the whole time-out thing very well. I felt more punished than they did, trying to get them to stay in that dang naughty chair. I don't think I've ever really grounded my children either. Once again, who are we punishing here, the child or the mother? Did they have any consequences, you ask? I don't know, I sent a good stern glance their direction once or twice. That counts for something.
• My kids ate chicken nuggets for lunch pretty much everyday, until they started school.
• None of my children attended preschool.
• Most of my children have eaten school lunch for most of their  school lives.
• None of my kids knew all of their letters before starting kindergarten. (I thought that was what kindergarten was for.)
• I've never been an uber volunteer mom. I try to volunteer for at least one classroom party and one field trip for each kid each year. You won't see me in the classroom twice a week.
• I don't cook near as often as a stay-at-home mom should. The fact that I can mention just about any restaurant and have each of my children say, "Just get me the regular", is kind of a problem.
• Around my oldest child's 12th birthday, I realized that not a single one of my children had taken a single swimming lesson in their whole lives. None of them could swim. I did remedy that situation:)
• I get a pit in my stomach when science fair projects come home. I discourage my junior high kids from taking honors science because it requires a science fair project.
• I get a pit in my stomach when county reports come home.
• I get a pit in my stomach when creative book reports are due.
• We don't eat organic food, unless it happens to be the same price as the regular poison food.
• I don't do crazy hair day or silly sock day or other such nonsense.
• I use idle threats and empty promises as a parenting tactic on an almost daily basis. Neither have proven effective, but perhaps I just haven't been consistent enough. 
• All of my children's Halloween costumes have been store-bought. In seventh grade, I cut them off. No more Halloween costumes. If they want to dress up, they have to figure it out for themselves.
• I think we've carved pumpkins about five times in all of my kids' lives.
• I put sugar in my cereal. My husband puts sugar in his cereal. All of my children put sugar in their cereal. Yep. Just pure white granulated kill-you-before-you're-thirty C&H pure cane sugar.
• I encouraged my senior to take nothing but fluff classes this school year. No math. No chemistry. No physics. No biology. Meteorology! Film History! Drawing! That's what I'm talkin' about.
• I tried being in the PTA for awhile. I was basically an absentee member who couldn't be counted on to follow through with anything. I'm no longer a member of the PTA.
• We have family scripture study about twice a week.
• All of my children's Faith in God, Scout achievements, Personal Progress, have been done in a crazed last minute cram session.
• I write all of my children's primary talks in sacrament meeting.
• My son walked around with a hole in the sole of his shoe for a month. He didn't want to tell me. Didn't want to deal with a grumbling mother I suppose.
• A sentence that comes out of my mouth at least once a week: "When was the last time you showered?"

I could go on and on and on. But I won't. I wouldn't want readers to get too inflated of an ego. The funny thing is that the Lord continues to allow me to raise these sweet little spirits. And the even crazier thing is that these children all seem to be fairly happy well-adjusted individuals. Who knew?!