That Time of Year

"Start of the school year: 4 new packs of pencils, 7 awesome folders, 10 pens, 3 packs of paper, and 1 ruler...end of the school year: 1 pencil."

It's that lovely time of year again. You know, that time of year when you're done packing lunches, the youngest is going to school in holey jeans, and the sight of a major school project makes you throw up in your mouth. Luckily, most of my children are self-sufficient when it comes to their end of year projects. 

We helped Jonah finish up his Presidents Report last week. He only handed it in a week late. For a kid who struggles with writing more than anything else in the world, a seven paragraph report is nothing short of sentencing the kid to a spleenectomy without anesthesia. But we got through it. I couldn't be more grateful that Zachary Taylor died of cholera 16 months into his presidency because it simply meant one less paragraph Jonah had to write. Sad day for the country back in 1850, glorious day for the Watson family 150 years later.

Our eldest child suffering from her own case of chronic senioritis, a malady that may prove fatal if graduation day doesn't get here quick, had to put together a presentation on Gone With the Wind for her film history class. She was up until midnight on Monday. She is passed done.

Sabrina had all of her honors english projects due yesterday. She spent the first half of the week putting together a collection of authentic Elizabethean recipes. Recipes calling for egges and yolkes. Sabrina wasn't quite sure whether this recipe belonged in a 16th century cookbook or in Gollum's cookbook. I told her it probably belonged to a very uneducated peasant. She also had to research Henry V and do an art representation of the play. She toiled over her charcoal drawing of dashing Kenneth Branagh as Henry V all night Wednesday, then stayed up until midnight typing her report. She handed in the projects yesterday with a sigh of relief.

Spencer's honors english project was due today. He had to research Merlin from the King Arthur story and make a poster sized coat of arms depicting the things he learned. I was up until 10:30 helping him color his poster, at which point I told him he was on his own as I needed to go collapse into my bed. I have no idea how late he was up, as I fell into an end-of-school-year coma about 20 seconds after hitting the pillow. All I know is that the child and his poster were gone this morning. 

Spencer has one more project due on Monday for his Utah History class all about the history of Lagoon. Yes, the amusement park. We found a highly entertaining 1987 KSL documentary on Youtube that has proven somewhat helpful. A very young Bruce Lindsay is the reporter in the segment. He may have been sporting some acid washed jeans. Or I could be making that up. It's hard when the child is supposed to have like three "different" resources. I'm sorry, but really the only resource that my kids can cite at the end of their reports is THE INTERNET. Books from the internet, articles from the internet, documentaries from the internet, illustrations from the internet. I wish it was this simple.

Resources used for this report:

THE INTERNET

Do you think Spencer's teacher would go for that? Probably not. Instead we have to make it appear that I got Spencer an appointment in the reading room at the Library of Congress where he poured over a vast array of original documents detailing the history of that obscure amusement park located in little Farmington Utah. 

Well, I'm sure he'll figure it out. He'll make it look all official and such. And then we should be done. Then this, the longest school year ever, can come to a close. Wait, I think I called last school year the longest one ever. In my brain, they are getting longer, or maybe I'm just getting tireder. Yep. I think that's the problem.