Non-shoppers and Wedding Planning Don't Mix

"I actually hate shopping." -Kate Bosworth

So I'm not a shopper. I know. It seems unamerican. At the very least, it's unfeminine. I am coming across more and more women who hate shopping like I do. I feel a close connection with such women and instantly want to be their best friend. Mainly because I know they won't ask me to go shopping. I carefully trained my daughters to be even bigger non-shoppers than myself. It is hard for us non-shoppers to plan weddings. 

We did really good at the beginning. We got the temple and the photographer and the reception venue reserved right off the bat. Dress shopping was a piece of cake. I went up to Logan one rainy day. Jessica fell in love with the fifth dress she tried on. We tried one other shop just so that it would look like we actually shopped for a dress. We had intended on driving to Bountiful the next day to do more shopping, but that made us both throw up in our mouths a little bit, and Jessica knew this was "the dress" so we bought it. We grabbed some Kneaders afterwards, then I drove home with my daughter's wedding dress in the backseat. It was surreal.

That is not the dress. But she looked beautiful in every dress she tried on. Surreal does not describe this experience adequately. I was in a daze most of the afternoon. How did we go from this dress?

To this dress? Can someone please explain this to me?

Then summer hit. Neil was in China for 12 days, then we squeezed in a quick family vacation, for my sanity's sake, then Neil and Jonah rushed off to scout camp. While Neil was gone, Jessica and I ordered her invitations, and bought temple clothes and wedding shoes all in about two and a half hours. The designer at the printing shop was shocked at how quickly we made decisions on the invites. I tried to explain to him that we're not shoppers. Like we don't even like shopping for fonts. Jessica was so exhausted after that experience that she didn't even want to help me figure out the verbiage for the invites. "Just word it however. I trust you," she moaned, as she threw shopping bags and shoeboxes into her car then left for Logan.

We went flower shopping almost too late. The first florist we went to, laughed at us when we told her when the wedding date was. Wait what? Florists get booked? Okay, now I know. So we did a quick google search and went to the next closest flower shop. They had an opening for the weekend we needed. Phew! She scheduled us to come in two days later to meet with the designer. I got up the morning of the appointment to a text from Jess. She was sick. Sick sick! Pneumonia sick. "Just go pick out some flowers without me," she said. "I trust your judgement." So I picked out some flowers. It took about 25 minutes. Because I don't shop. I hope they'll be okay. Jessica assures me that they'll be fine. 

Then I rushed off to Girls Camp. Saturday, Neil and I ran over to Salt Lake and ordered 20 dozen donuts and 300 donut holes. Then we ordered some cakes at Jessica's favorite bakery, because she didn't want a fondant wedding cake, just some delicious Gourmandise cakes.

Jessica's bridals are tomorrow. We found a hair dresser last minute yesterday. Jessica is going to run to the store before her hair appointment and pick up some kind of jewelry to match her dress. We still don't know if we have a bouquet for tomorrow. Ugh!

We bought suits and ties for the boys and a skirt and top for me in one hour on Friday night. Sabrina and I tried to find a dress for her on Saturday night, but after an hour of donut platter shopping, the girl was spent. One step into the mall, and we both lost the will to live, so we went home.

The wedding is upon us, and we are all sapped dry of any shopping energy we possessed. All that remains are the tiny details. And it is the tiny details that will kill me. I am beginning to seek the help of sisters and moms who know how to decorate, and to entertain and to, well...shop. 

One thing is for sure. Jessica is no Bridezilla. She has the proper perspective. She is thrilled at the notion of being sealed for time and eternity to the man she loves. Everything else is fun but rather superfluous. 

I'm sure it will be a lovely day. If this pathetic collection of non-shoppers pull off the wedding reception, I will consider it a miracle worth documenting. And when it is all done, and the happy couple is tucked away into their little newlywed apartment, I believe I will sit in my pajamas for a week straight with a good book in hand, and I shall not step into another store until the house is devoid of a single morsel of food and the children are begging for sustenance. Even then, I think I'll send their dad to the store. He doesn't mind shopping. And he loves his wife and cares a great deal about her mental well-being. And my mental well-being relies heavily on a lot of Non-Retail Therapy.:)