Dental Drama

"Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing." -Johnny Depp

Sabrina had a 7:30 am dental appointment this morning. I got to listen to the lamentations all the way home from violin yesterday. There are few people Sabrina hates more than a dentist. She believes that our sweet little dentist has one sole purpose in life, and that is to torment poor innocent citizens like herself. I'm not exactly sure where this animosity stems. Sabrina has had the fewest cavities of all my children. We joke that someday she will marry a dentist who's allergic to cats. She insists that she could never love such a man. 

I agonize every six months about when to break the news to Sabrina that she has a dental appointment. If I tell her just a few hours before the appointment, then she is angry that I didn't give her ample time to get worked up  prepared for her ordeal. But if I tell her weeks in advance, then she's angry that I have exposed her to days and days of agonizing worry. 

I have decided that one week is ample notice, and that is why I got to enjoy the whining yesterday.I told her to look at the bright side, she got to skip out on gym class for this appointment. She refused to be consoled. "I would rather do two graded runs in gym class, than go to the dentist!" So much for my merciful and strategic planning when scheduling her cleaning. Sabrina informed me that when she is a perfected being, creating worlds without number, that the inhabitants of those worlds will be free of three great inconveniences...those being cramps, dental troubles, and spiders. I have to admit, the world would be a slightly happier place without these three nuisances, and I'm sure her many children will appreciate the favor. Of course, one doesn't appreciate the lack of such trials unless one has actually experienced them, thus the purpose for our earthly probation. But Sabrina has an eternity to figure this out. For now, she can envision a happy world where women, with perfect teeth, don't bite their husbands heads off every 28 days, and never have to squeal at the sight of an icky bug.

Sabrina did survive her dental visit this morning. No cavities, just as I suspected. I find great solace in the fact that at least one of my children inherited the Fellows teeth. It's amazing how this child can go from the depths of despair to cloud nine in a matter of seconds. 

Now that her teeth were shiny and smooth, it was time to coat them with a nice layer of sugary goodness. No time but the present to start building up fresh plaque. Sill's Cafe was just the place to enjoy an "I survived the dentist" treat. One of the great pleasures granted to mothers is turning what your child thought would be the worst day of her life into the best morning ever.

 We sipped hot chocolate and nibbled on scones the size of our heads while Sabrina discussed how she just can't understand why her friend waits until her teeth hurt to go to the dentist. It is always better to go every six months, to keep our teeth in optimum condition. Uh Huh. I held back a smirk and simply said that she was right and how important it is for people to learn this valuable truth at a young age. Sometimes we have to do things we don't enjoy, because it is for our good. She nodded as she slathered honey butter all over her scone. 

I'm sure that the same pout fest will ensue in six months time, when I announce that it's time for our regular cleanings. Don't worry, I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve. It will be summer, perhaps a trip to the smoothie shop will be in order.