The Rigors of Valentine's Day

"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love." -Maya Angelou

If I search back into the far reaches of my memory, I can make out a faint recollection of Neil and I celebrating Valentines Day, just the two of us, at some romantic restaurant. It is so foggy, that I can give you no details of such a celebration.

For well over a decade now, Valentine's Day has been all about making sure the kids feel loved. This year was no different. The day before the holiday, found me in the kitchen all day chopping potatoes and onions and mincing garlic for a soup I was to prepare for that night's youth etiquette night.

Everyone came home inhaling the wonderful aromas of that soup simmering in its pot. I spent three hours that evening laboring in the kitchen, filling salad plates, ladling soup, serving and cleaning up after young people trying out their etiquette skills.

With a youth program as large as ours is, this was nothing short of a ward dinner. I believe we used every dish in the kitchen. We had just enough soup for everyone but the young women leaders. We spent all day smelling it simmer in our kitchens, and in the end,  got little more than a taste. You may have found me at Crown Burger at 10:00 that night downing a cheeseburger and fries, a meal that lingers comfortably on my thighs to this day.

No matter, this night was for my cute kids. It was a delight to watch them mingle with one another in a safe loving atmosphere. Everyone danced. There were no wall-flowers, just a group of carefree teenagers having a night of good clean fun.

I can remember when I was issued the call as YW President eight years ago, when they were first creating this ward. The bishop informed me that we only had three young women in the whole ward. One Beehive, one Mia Maid, and one Laurel. I believe there were five or six young men total. I can remember the challenges of trying to get these girls excited about coming to an activity where there was no one their age. I can remember planning a youth conference for one girl. I can remember the awkward silences during our Sunday lessons, where we leaders had to speak up constantly because the three young women in the room were sick of answering all of the questions.

Fast forward eight years, and here we sit with 25 young women and 35 young men. The challenges are different now. We worry, with ten Beehives, whether they all feel loved and included. We used to plan whole activities for the one. Now we have to search out the one in a large flock. But I'll take these challenges. I love this band of valiant souls that I get to help lead. I have great confidence in our future with such spirits eager to take the reigns the minute we're ready to hand them off.

The next morning found me at the computer searching Pinterest for clever Valentine's game ideas for Jonah's 4th grade party. I usually keep my distance when it comes to Pinterest, but on occasions such as these, it is an invaluable tool.

I hurried into the elementary school, with a slew of other mothers, sporting our pink sweaters and target bags full of pink M & M's and card stock games and crafts. I was having a good ol' time shooting pictures of Jonah playing Don't Eat Pete and Heart Lava Walk, when I realized to my horror, that my camera was missing its memory card. How ever will he remember that I was a good mom who volunteered for his school parties, if I offer no photos as proof? So here is the shot, taken two hours after the party, to show that I was there, and that I cared.

But I still had to run home and get my memory card, because at that very moment, Spencer was enjoying his 6th grade Valentine's Dance, and there would be no re-creating those memories. So I squealed out of the parking lot, breathlessly retrieved the memory card, then sped (I mean carefully obeyed the speed limit) back to the school. I got there in time to catch this kid, who told me two weeks ago that he was nervous about dancing, bustin' some moves. I had no idea he knew how to Boogie like that! He was red-cheeked and out of breath, as he rotated between robot, disco, and gangnam style dance moves.

Yep, that's him on the right, line dancing like his life depends on it. I'm so glad I was there to catch this moment. His childhood is passing before my eyes. But now I was late picking up Sabrina from school.

Upon picking her up, I noticed that she was modeling a cute ribbon that proclaimed her the most creative female in the 8th grade. She wore this all day. She told me this was quite a feat, considering these awards are usually only reserved for the popular crowd. All those hours of doodling detailed dragons on her math worksheets finally paid off. I wonder if there's a scholarship available for the most creative female in the 8th grade. There should be. 

I rushed home and hurried to get some red jello chilling in the fridge, then rushed Sabrina to a violin lesson that she was already late for.

Then I rushed back home and began mixing the dough for our Valentine's pizzas. Neil and I decided years ago that coming up with a babysitter on Valentine's night was impossible, and so we would have a special family dinner by candlelight with the kids, and go out to a nice restaurant another time. Several years later, it would not be that difficult for us to sneak off to a romantic dinner for two on Valentine's Day, but I'm afraid the tradition is now embedded in our kid's hearts. I'm pretty much expecting the call from my kids when they're in their 30's. "Hey Mom, what time is Valentine's dinner this year? Don't forget, extra sauce on my pizza!"

It's nothing too fancy. Personal heart-shaped pizzas made to each child's request, red jello parfaits, and some sparkling Cherry 7-Up to drink. I think it's the candlelight that makes everything extra special.

Pepperoni, sausage, and green peppers, with extra sauce for Jess.

Extra pepperoni, sausage, extra cheese, no sauce for Sabrina.

Extra everything for Spencer.

Moderate amounts of everything for Jonah, and no sausage.

And this is where it all started. Just two people falling in love.

The night ended with the kids enjoying a small Valentine's gift. A Hobbit Lego for Jonah, another collection of Bach's Cello Suites (this one edited by Janos Starker) for Jessica, lotions and shower gels for Sabrina, and a Perplexus game for Spencer, we'll see if this one actually perplexes him. You can see the feet of two very tired parents in the foreground.

And yes, Neil and I were leaving for Yellowstone the next morning, and no, we had not even begun to pack.

Every year, I tell Neil not to buy me flowers on Valentine's Day because they are way over-priced, and every year, he blatantly disregards my request, and every year, I forgive him.