Flying Solo

"The dinosaur's eloquent lesson is that if some bigness is good, an overabundance of bigness is not necessarily better." -Eric Johnston

Neil was out of town for six out of the last eight days. He was at a Sales Conference, which is code for manager's play time in southern Utah. I'm actually thrilled for the guy. He works so hard both in the workplace and on the home front. The man never takes any time for himself. So it made me smile to know that he was spending the week on ATVs and in slot canyons. 

The only challenge is that this conference unfailingly falls on the week that all four children have performances. At least Neil maintained fairness in the home by missing every child's performance. You'd hate for him to catch the violin recital but miss the 4th grade program. We try to preserve equality, even when we are speaking of neglect. I say all of this with a tinge of sarcasm, because Neil never misses the kids' performances. The man takes extended lunches to catch daytime recorder concerts. He's literally the only dad in the room. He has actually scheduled business trips around his children's concerts. Neil is always there, with camcorder in hand. Except for the week of his yearly sales conference. The guilt is almost more than he can take. He feels guilty for not being there for the kids, and he feels guilty for leaving me stranded for one of the busiest weeks of the school year.

Single parenting is one thing. But single parenting when there are concerts and programs and soccer practice and piano lessons and field trips scheduled, is quite another. Neil used to call me from his hotel during such weeks, and I would sob into the phone and tell him that this was just too much for one person to do. I'm a little more resilient these days. Now I look at my planner at the onslaught of such weeks and yell out, "Bring It!"  Neil will call me and ask with trepidation how things are going. I'll reply, "Fine. This isn't my first rodeo, you know." He'll ask how the kids are doing, and I'll tell him that I don't really know, I spent six hours in the van tonight. But I can usually boast that they are all present and accounted for, with some sort of food in their bellies.

 I can thank perdium for some of my resiliency. I'm not speaking of Neil's perdium. I'm speaking of mine. Neil's company gives him money to spend on eating out while he is on business. The family bank account gives me money to spend on eating out while I am trying to keep my head above water while Neil is gone. My superhuman capabilities stop at meal preparation. I can get four kids to ten events, but I can't prepare a homemade well-balanced dinner in the process. I think I managed one night of grilled cheese and a can of soup, and I threw a frozen lasagna in the oven another night. The rest of the nights, we depended on Cafe Rio, and Subway, and The Pizza Place to sustain the family. There was one day that I realized that I didn't even have time to pick up dinner in the evening. So I picked up Subway at noon and had it sitting in the fridge for the kids to eat when they had the chance. So much for quality family time around the dinner table. It's only once a year, right?

Anyway, Tuesday was the last day of utter mayhem. Neil was in Vegas for the Lawn & Garden show and was flying home that night. I spent all day on a field trip with Jonah at the Dinosaur Park. I was surprised at the pleasantness of this field trip. The last time I did this field trip, we arrived at the park at 10:00 and were told to keep these kids entertained until 1:30. The children had reached their saturation point by noon, but we were forbidden to enter the buses for another hour and a half. My little group ran amuck while I tried to keep tabs on them. I came home grumpy and exhausted.

They have improved this field trip in the last two years. We got there and sat down to a most informative lecture by an enthusiastic paleontologist. Am I the only mom who wants to answer and ask all of the questions at these things? I think I'm made for the lecture hall. It is possible that I was oohing and aahing over the fossils even more than the 4th graders. After 45 minutes of learning, it was time to peruse the museum.

 And then it was time for lunch. That left us with just over an hour to hunt the dinosaur park for the specific dinosaurs listed in our handy little field guides. On top of that, I only had our cute little neighbor boy to keep an eye on besides Jonah.

 It was one of those delightful afternoons with just the right amount of learning and playtime, an ideal field trip in my mind. I still got home tired, but not grumpy this time.

I got home with just enough time to grab half the kids some dinner and to bring take-out home for the others. Jessica and I were ships passing in the night this week. I rushed Spencer to his viola lesson only to realize that it was cancelled due to the Youth Symphony concert that was the next event on my list to get to. I rushed home and grabbed the kids and made it to the high school in plenty of time to snag a good seat.

We've got this concert thing down to an art. Now that the kids are old enough to sit quietly, we can procure good seats nice and early, and it gives us a good 40 minutes of reading time. Well, Jonah gets a good 40 minutes of Clash of Clans time. I even let the kid play his Ipod during the concert this time. Since I was doing this concert solo and was left with strict orders to capture the event on camera as well as camcorder, I couldn't be bothered with trying to convince the ten year old to sit still and enjoy the music. Don't worry, this ten year old boy has sat through more than his fair share of stuffy orchestra concerts. He is not hurting in the cultural arena.  Not many ten year old boys can sing Carmen, and Dvorak's cello concerto, and Bocherini's Minuet in his sleep, but mine can. I figured we could let this one slide. Funny thing, he put his Ipod away part way into Tchaikovsky and just enjoyed the music.

Leslie joined us during intermission. When the orchestra started in with Slavonic Dances, Leslie turned to me and said, "This isn't your run-of-the-mill high school concert is it?" No indeed, it was not. This was a group of talented teens performing some top-notch music.

When it was over, Leslie mentioned how her heart jumped a little to be listening to such fine music live. She told me that I was lucky to be able to have such an experience all of the time. I know I'm lucky. It's why we keep doing crazy weeks like this week. Because once I sit down and can take a deep breath, it is nothing but complete musical bliss after that. Beautiful hearts making beautiful music. It's a beautiful thing.

To our surprise, Neil had slipped into the back for the final movement of Tchaikovsky and for the encore, Sabre Dance. His flight had come in a little early, and he had sped home and dragged the two engineers with him into the high school auditorium to watch his daughter's big Tchaikovsky finish. What did I tell you? The man doesn't miss his children's shining moments. He ran his engineers home then met us for ice cream. We got home to a kitchen that looked like a scene from a World War II documentary. It's funny how that happens despite the fact that I didn't cook a single meal this week. We cancelled any and all events last night and spent some time catching up on homework, and eating a meal around the dinner table, and relishing the fact that we didn't have to go anywhere. 

The next couple of weeks look pretty crazy as well, but at least I won't be flying solo. Then comes summer. Then come quiet nights and home-cooked meals and family adventures. Bring It!