I Am Privileged

"And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones." -3 Nephi 17:23

I have the privilege of being called the family photographer. I use that term loosely, obviously. My photography skills are meager at best, but I have a decent camera, so it is my privilege to take many of the family photos. 

I call it a privilege because I get to look through the lens of my camera to have a small but intimate moment with each of the cousins whom I love so much. You see, the cousins tend to be just a blur to us adults most of the time. They scatter the minute they walk through Mormor's door on a Sunday evening, eager to begin their play. We hear them loud and clear, no doubt about that, but we seldom see them. They make a quick appearance on the nights that Mormor has a treat sitting on the counter waiting to be cut into. And we see their grumpy faces at the end of the night as they beg their parents for just five more minutes of precious playtime. Beyond this, they are happy little blurs running from the basement to the backyard deep in imaginary play.

But on nights like last night, they are forced by their loving moms to be still for a moment so that Aunt Steph can get a photo or two. As I stare into the viewfinder, and they stare back at me, I see them. The mischief and mayhem of Sunday night at Grandma's house disappears, and I see them for who they really are. The sweetest little spirits you ever did see. The light of Christ twinkles in their little eyes, and I am privileged to witness that light first hand.

I see images of their good parents in their faces. 

I can see the passing of time through my lens as the child I'm looking at has changed since the last time I saw him through this very lens. That child is my captive audience for one moment as I talk to him or her one on one. I am able to, in my own silly aunt way, remind them of just how beautiful and special they are. I am amazed at what I see through my lens.

Handsome young men, ready and eager to receive the priesthood.

Cute little boys with chocolate brown eyes and tender hearts that love so completely.

And even littler boys overflowing with spunk and strength. The future world-changers staring at me through my lens.

And then there are little nieces all sweetness and giggles, wrapped up in a cardigan, and topped with a bow. Those little girls that I could take a thousand pictures of and never get bored.

As I'm dying from an overload of cuteness and taking photos in rapid succession, I remind her doting mom and dad whose smiles I can feel behind me, that we will be taking her bridal photos in no time at all. They chuckle nervously because they know that I am speaking in all honesty.

They will pass from cutie patooties to beautiful and poised young men and young women. And they will do it with no warning and no permission from us, their ever watchful parents.

Leslie commented that she should have had her boys wear different shoes. I quickly began my Big Sister Rant, telling her to take that back. I drilled into her that she will be so glad she didn't change one thing. She captured them right here and right now. She doesn't want these photos to look like an Old Navy ad. She wants them to be perfect representations of these children right now. Bless them and their bright colored tennis shoes and cheesy grins. They will not look this way even by year's end. She will be so glad she has these pictures of them just as they are.

It will not be long before these little boys are young men walking valiantly into the mission field.

It will be no time before this little sweetie can no longer be picked up and hugged and kissed like this.

It is a privilege to take these quiet evenings with the ones that I love so much, beholding their little ones through the lens of my camera and standing in awe.

An Adventure On a School Night

"I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.' I should think so - in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!" -Tolkien

Yesterday was National Hobbit Day. So we celebrated. 

This was an idea that began brewing two weeks ago. I stuck with my normal manner of execution and half planned things, then got busy being a single mom, then got busier welcoming my hubby home from China thus ending my singlemomhood. Next thing I knew, the day had arrived and I was still only half prepared. 

So I ran to Hobby Lobby. It's official. I am now and forever banned from that place. Then I picked up some groceries fit for a Hobbit feast and ran home to try to get everything set up before the kids got home. 

I didn't pull things off before Sabrina got home from school, so she helped me finish setting up. Sometimes it's fun to be surprised when you walk through the door, and sometimes it's fun to help your mom prepare the surprise for your brothers.

It's a little known fact that Bilbo Baggins' birthday falls, in fact, on the 22nd of September. He was born in the year 2890, so we were premature in our celebration by, oh I don't know, 875 years. This didn't seem to bother the kids. Any celebration is worthwhile even if it is for a yet to be born fellow who lives mostly within our imaginations.

I'll not bore you with the details of what we feasted on. The photos speak for themselves. All I can say is how did mom's ever survive without pinterest? They probably had to think and be creative on their own. Such a notion hurts my atrophied brain.

That handsome fella peering behind the Council of Elrond Cookies got contacts just an hour before. I took a break from festivity prep to run him over to Target to order some. It's a good thing he's so resilient and was able to get those suckers in on about the fourth try, because the Hobbit stew was bubbling and the Melon of Moria needed slicing. The very blueness of his eyes are accentuated now. 

A little something to remember the night by. A handmade tag made from handcrafted Hobbit stamps, and a handmade moleskin Hobbit notebook. All I can say is how did mom's survive without Etsy? I guess they had to make things by hand...like with their own two hands. The notion makes my non crafty brain and non coordinated hands hurt.

We finished the night snuggled in front of a movie: The Hobbit-An Unexpected Journey. At this point, Jonah began writhing with stomach pain and was downstairs heaving by the end of the night. And there you go. Maybe Gollum licked those gummy worms, or perhaps the Grapes of Gondor were tainted, or the stew I toiled over was bad, or maybe it was that annoying stomach virus that seems to be circulating. Nonetheless, it made for an eventful evening. He's laying on the couch right now finishing the movie. It was a good night, and a good feast. It's always nice to take a break from the humdrum of normal life and celebrate, on a school night no less. 

Until next year, when we celebrate Bilbo's 874th anticipated birthday.

Feasting With Family

"You've been listening to the adagio from Beethoven's 7th Symphony. I think Ludwig pretty much summed up death in this one. You know, he had lost just about all his hearing when he wrote it, and I've often wondered if that didn't help him tune into the final silence of the great beyond."
- Andrew Schneider

We just had one of those great weekends. First Neil returned from a trip from China. Thank the heavens! The calendar says he was gone for ten days. My nerves say he was gone for 189 days. It seemed really long this time. We were so happy to have him home. Then the newlyweds stayed for the weekend. Jessica had to close on Friday night, so they showed up in the dark of night. I had set up a comfortable bed for them in the upstairs family room. The sofa sleeper was set up with a queen sized air mattress on top complete with some sheets and a quilt. It's not the Hilton, but it will have to do for now. Someday I will have a lovely spare bedroom for our married kids with a real bed and truffles on the pillows and light reading sitting on the matching bed stands. But our nest is not empty enough for such accommodations right now.

I can't tell you how much a mom yearns to have her whole family together under one roof again. To have my husband in China and my adult kids in Logan just leaves me feeling unsettled. To have them all sleeping soundly in my little abode allowed me to sleep soundly and gave me something joyous to wake up to. 

Spencer was supposed to get his patriarchal blessing Saturday morning, but apparently the patriarch had scheduled him for next Saturday. Grrr. Best laid plans. So we went and got Kneaders french toast for breakfast. I'm going for a record of longest time without going to the grocery store. And also largest amount of saving's money spent on eating out. Sometimes I'm just the worst mom ever. What kind of example am I setting for my married daughter? I should have been up at 8:00 sizzling bacon, flipping pancakes, and shredding hash browns. Instead I was laughing around Kneaders' breakfast table with the kids, commenting on how Kneaders is  getting a little stingy with their whipped cream as of late. Oh well. It is what it is.

After breakfast, Neil and I and Jess and Taylor went and did a session at the Bountiful temple. It was so so fun to go to the temple with my married daughter. I had brought some family names to do proxy work for, so it was quite literally the best way I could have spent my afternoon.

We finished off the great weekend in Salt Lake. We bought tickets for Beethoven's 7th clear back in February. We had bought a ticket for Taylor. This was before he and Jess were even discussing marriage, but I think we all knew that he was going to be a part of our family. He had an appreciation for Beethoven's 7th for heaven's sake, of course he had to join our family! We enjoyed dinner at Gourmandise first. As Spencer put it drolly that morning, over french toast, "I haven't had a Gourmandise sandwich in years." My word! How did I raise such snobs? Our snobbery far exceeds our income. Anyway, we all got our gourmet sandwiches and Taylor schooled us on the proper way to pronounce the french pastries we were prepared to order. It was a lovely meal. Then we separated into two groups to do some shopping before meeting up at Abravanel Hall. 

As we sat in the hall waiting for the concert to begin, an older gentleman approached Sabrina and said, "I haven't seen a hat like that for 40 years." Sabrina and I said in unison, "It's vintage." He may have seen that exact hat 40 years ago. 

Apparently Jess thought the concert started at 8:00 so she, Taylor, and Spencer were stuck at H & M when Beethoven's 2nd started. Sad but not tragic. They hung out in the beautiful lobby drinking hot chocolate and joined us during intermission in time for the seventh, which was the real reason we were all there. 

It was beautiful. Beautiful. The genius that is Beethoven is such a treat to experience live, especially when Thierry Fischer is conducting. They say that this may have been the last symphony that Beethoven was actually able to hear. Which makes the 2nd movement that much more haunting. And it was haunting and achingly beautiful. There were moments that I just sat with my eyes closed and breathed in the music. I forget how much I love every movement of this symphony. If the second movement is haunting, the last movement is triumphant, and I love it almost as much as the second. When the final note was played, the room exploded, everyone stood to applaud, the "Bravos" echoed through the hall. We beckoned the conductor back onto the stage four times. Sabrina and I commented that we hope that Beethoven is allowed to hear his masterpiece now and again from the other side, this time with perfected spiritual ears. God is merciful. I think He must allow it from time to time. I had hoped He had allowed Beethoven to hear his music that night and to listen to our applause afterward, for we are still appreciating his work 200 years later. 

We made our way to the lobby and chattered on about how amazing the concert was and how we need to do this more often. Then we stopped for a traditional photo then made our way home. It was a day of physical, spiritual, and musical feasting with family. Those are the best days!

Jessica's Wedding

One of these days I'll get around to talking about Jessica's wedding day, I promise. Life doesn't seem to stop to let us take in and document such significant events. Life just keeps on rolling forward with great momentum. I had one weekend to recover from this special day then it was time to frantically school shop and meet with counselors and get the kids over to their respective schools to walk their schedules. Time stops for no one. 

I have also hesitated to write because I have not been able to gather my thoughts. The flood of emotions and thoughts bombarding my brain for the last four months have been difficult to pin down and express. 

It was a beautiful day! Everything came together better than I hoped. I'll tell you all about it...someday. 

Sabrina - Here & Now

"And though she be but little, she is fierce." -Shakespeare

I love this girl! Here are a few reasons why:

She has her own wonderful and unique sense of style. She is confident enough to dress as she likes, and I love it!

She gives compliments freely. On a regular basis she will compliment a complete stranger on his or her clothing or hair style. She makes people smile everywhere she goes.

She currently has two obsessions: Shakespeare and Opera. I know what you're thinking. How old is this kid? She may look 16, but she and I are convinced that in heaven she was in line to come down during the 1800's but got distracted by some french macaroons or something and missed the train down. At which point the heavenly attendant said, "I'm so sorry, but it seems the only available spot we have is in that farty dirt patch we call the 21st century." Sabrina sighed in despair and declared, "All right. I'll go down, but I'll not give into their barbaric ways." And she has held true to her word. My kitchen counter is full of Netflix envelopes harboring every Shakespeare film that Kenneth Branagh has ever made. And she has notebooks filled with Shakespeare quotes. 

She can also give you a detailed description of the plot line of every major opera. She listens to opera on Spotify while she writes her novels.

She is currently writing her fifth novel. She had me read a short piece that she had written for her creative writing class the other night. Wow! If this girl keeps it up, she is going to be a remarkable writer. Neil and I are banking on that fact. She's going to become the next J.K. Rowling (She would hate me for saying that. She hates Harry Potter) so that Neil and I can retire and travel the world. She usually spends one to four hours a day writing. 

Some Sabrina quotables:

"Mom did you know that a group of pandas is called an 'Embarrassment'? Because you know, one panda is company, two pandas is a crowd, but three pandas is an embarrassment."

She calls Godiva chocolate "Go Diva". Every time we see it in the grocery store, she puts her hands in the air and chants, "Go Diva. Go Diva. Go Diva."

If you want to hear venom spewing from the mouth of this child at extreme decibels force her to abandon her precious novel writing to work on Common Core Math homework. She has no tolerance for it. She feels that math has no place in this world, and it is absolute abuse that she should be forced to deal with numbers when she was born to revel in words. The struggle is real.

Sabrina is obsessed with all things vintage. Let me reiterate that she was born into the wrong century due to some sort of heavenly clerical error. When she isn't noveling, she is on Etsy favoriting vintage hats and books. This is where she chooses to spend her money. She loves classic literature. She used to be a snob and only liked her classic books in hard back. She has now moved from snob to full blown elitist as she will only buy her classic novels vintage. I know. I know. But what can I do? Her latest favorite find was at a local used bookstore where she purchased an 1867 version of Life and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe. I will not tell you how much she paid for the book. My opinion is, she could have spent that much money on a pair of jeans at Hollister. I'd rather she throw her hard earned cash at books. 

When she finds some unsuspecting soul on Etsy who is cleaning out Grandma's house and is selling a 1906 Dickens work for a mere $20.00, she laughs a maniacal laugh, then hits "proceed to checkout". She then begins to, as she refers to it, "helicopter parent her package", checking every day to see if it has shipped and even emailing the seller to confirm when they intend to ship and how long they think shipping will take.

While Sabrina's passions and interests are refined, her palate is less so. Aside from the french macaroons which she so adores, her pickiness renders her dinner options limited. The child likes chicken, potatoes, rice, and alfredo pasta. That is basically all she will eat. Give her a big plate of beige, and the girl is in heaven.

When Sabrina isn't writing, she is drawing. Don't try to argue with her over who is the better man, Tesla or Edison. She will win every time. 

Above all, Sabrina has a beautiful testimony. She has not missed a night of personal scripture study in years. She decided at a very young age that she wanted her life and values to be based on more than what was trending in her teenage sphere. She made a conscious choice at 13 years old to focus on those things of eternal value. And she has continued in that resolve. Her understanding of the gospel is mature and deeply rooted on the foundation of Jesus Christ. Her seminary teachers and Sunday school teachers thank me regularly for raising such a daughter. I am quick to remind them that she came this way. Maybe she wasn't born into the wrong century. Maybe she was saved for a time such as this, when the world is so confused about what is right and what is wrong. Maybe this girl, who is guided by her own moral compass, needed to come to this earth right now because so many are faltering and need beacons of light like our dear Sabrina. She will do great things. I know it. And I get a front row seat!