Where Do Busybodies Go?

"A busybody's work is never done." -A.N. Wilson

Jessica is taking her Pre-Calculus test today. I think she finally turned in her practice minutes for orchestra. The child practices an hour a day, and she has a B+ in orchestra due to not handing in practice minutes? Come on Jess. Let's not give away the A here. I'm praying she handed in the last of her missing assignments in AP music theory as well as her extra credit in AP history. It's been a year.

Sabrina finished the report on Louise Gluck. She printed it this morning, then forgot to bring it to school. Neil is rushing it to the school as we speak. He got up early to help her with yet another monster math packet. She has a math test, get this, ON THURSDAY! Math teachers...no souls. By the way, her Rube Goldberg project was the best in the class. She has a Super Dad. This may come as a shock, but none of the other kids came prepared with a machine. They must have had mothers screaming "Just take a zero!" and no father to intercede. 

I sent Spencer off to his field trip, skin shiny and greasy with sunblock, yummy sack lunch in his hand, and five bucks in his pocket. I vowed I was done handing over five dollar bills to the school!

Jonah trotted out of the van overladen with a ten pound backpack. Five of those pounds was an eight dollar bag of gummy bears the size of Milwaukee. He has to share with the entire 4th grade during the read-a-thon today. The other five pounds was his big Hobbit book.

Spencer graduates from 6th grade this week. I insisted that he audition for a musical number for the graduation assembly. The kid is an amazing pianist, and I hate to see that talent go to waste. He told me he would do so begrudgingly.

He came home from school yesterday downtrodden. I asked what was wrong, and he informed me that he had been selected to play his musical number for the graduation, but that as a result, he was turned down for giving a graduation speech. I had no idea he was going to try out for a speech. The only thing that rivals Spencer's piano abilities are his public speaking abilities, and apparently those are the ones that he would have preferred to showcase at graduation. But being the ever obedient child that he is, he auditioned on the piano to please me. A scripture comes to mind here:

"But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters." -1 Peter 4:15

That's me. One big fat busybody goin' around systematically wrecking my kids' lives with my meddling ways. Me and the murderers and thieves, we hang out. I do have one question. If the Lord holds little regard for busybodies, then why did He create women? I don't know what kind of fiery place is prepared for us murderers, thieves, and busybodies, but I find great comfort in the fact that I may be there with about 100 billion other women. No place could be so bad with such company.

If the Lord really wanted to create hell for a busybody such as myself, He would send me to a place where it was perpetually and eternally the last week of school.