Lovely Lucre!

"It's all about the money." -Joseph Jackson

Memorization is extremely difficult for Jonah. This is part of the reason that he hates reading. So much of reading is reciting memorized words. Jonah has no problem with words that make sense phonetically. But those sight words that simply must be memorized just don't click for him. Studying spelling words is always a treat. We are to the point that we pick 10 words out of the list of 30 each week and go over them every night. And every night, he spells them phonetically. A word like empty is a piece of cake. A word like beauty is a nightmare. I try to cut the kid some slack. I certainly don't learn 30 new words a week. The school system is not so sympathetic. We exchange high fives if Jonah gets a 50% on his spelling test.

I suppose I have Neil to blame for this. Neil does not memorize well. He refused to memorize the missionary discussions while in the field. Or should I say, he couldn't memorize them. He knew them. He knew them well. He just couldn't memorize them. When the church came out with the new program for preaching the gospel, I told Neil, "See, you were ahead of your time!"

He had companions who could memorize 100 new Finnish words a day, and he struggled to memorize ten. But at the end of his mission, he had a hard time convincing a Finn that he was American, because his Finnish was so good. 

I say all of this, because in the grand scheme of things, your ability to memorize is really not very important. But try to explain this to any elementary school teacher. As a fourth grader, Jonah is at the height of his memorizing career, and he's floundering. Ask the boy to add up the price of several items in his head and include tax, and he'll have a total for you in 10 seconds. Ask him what 8 x 6 is, and he'll look at you like you have lobsters crawling out of your ears.

I understand that memorizing your times tables is vital. I know that Algebra will be impossible if you can't quickly spit out your math facts. But to get Jonah to sit down and drill times tables closely resembles asking him to undergo an arm amputation without anesthesia. The weeping and wailing is no different.

And then one day I got a brilliant idea. I put an offer on the table. For every set of multiplication facts he could memorize, I would pay him $1.00. This child has been all about money since a very young age. He gets his mind set on some new Lego set, and then he puts a financial plan in place. He runs figures in his head all day. And when he gets his hands on some money, he has a shocking amount of will power. He has no problem not spending a dime of that money until he has reached his goal, at which point, he'll spend $100.00 in one place, and not feel an ounce of regret. And then he begins saving for the next purchase. Just having money brings Jonah great comfort.  That lovely lucre has been his dear friend for these five years or so.

So when I put my offer on the table, he immediately pulled out the flash cards, set the timer on his Ipod and began drilling, and drilling, and drilling. I could hear him at the table, "Oh man! So close! I need to just get 5 seconds faster!" You see, he can memorize. It just takes  more time and more effort for him. 

I know that all of the child psychologists would shake their heads at my poor parenting. After all, a child should learn his math facts simply because it brings him great pleasure to know that 6 x 12 = 72. Knowledge should be reward in and of itself. Blah! Blah! Blah!

To such bologna, I say this. My son knows all of his times tables. No tears were shed by either party in this process. No screaming match ensued at any point during this process. And it cost me a measly $12.00! Oh blessed bribery, how ever would I survive my youngest child without you? Oh lovely lucre, I praise your name. May I always have you at my disposal, so as to lure my headstrong child into future challenging situations.

George Washington is quite a miracle worker in our house, and for that I am grateful. Yes, Jonah feels great satisfaction at the fact that he knows what 11 x 11 is. But his emotions border on the ecstatic when he sees those crisp dollar bills, gathered in his money box, just waiting for a trip to Toys R Us. And I admit, that those feelings of ecstasy are not limited to the child, but reach to a mother who sheds a tear of relief that her son has surmounted one more educational hurdle. Bless you George Washington, bless you.